Auto-Draft Would've Done Better.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
You showed up, stayed awake, and personally made every one of those choices. That is what makes this so hard to watch. A perfectly balanced medium roast dedicated to the robot that would have drafted you a tighter roster and asked for no credit.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich praline sweetness. Smooth body. Perfectly balanced. Medium Roast · Sourced from Brazil, Colombia & Guatemala TASTES LIKE — ZERO RESEARCH · AN ALGORITHM'S PITY · A SURPRISINGLY BETTER ROSTER SMACK METER — 4/5 · Scorched Earth
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
4/5 — Scorched Earth
Human Decisions
Regrettable
Bye-Week Conflicts
Impressive
Robot Sympathy
High
Draft Grade
Loading
Excuse Selected
Connection Issue
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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