Lucky Bastard Blend
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Flex
You won. Congratulations. Was it skill? Was it luck? Doesn't matter — you're insufferable now and everyone knows it. This blend was made specifically for people who think they create the good fortune they just happen to stumble into. This coffee will make you 150% more smug. You don't deserve good things. We're excited for your inevitable downfall.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Blackberry acidity. Caramel sweetness. Hints of plum and black tea. Light Roast · Sourced from Ethiopia, Guatemala & Brazil TASTES LIKE — Notes of smugness, beginner’s luck, and thoroughly undeserved glory.
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
2/5 — SIDE-EYE
Championships Won
This One
Victory Laps Taken
Ongoing
Times Mentioned In Group Chat
Daily
Humility Level
Zero
Will Shut Up About It
Never
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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