Smooth Brain Blend
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
This blend was made specifically for people who are bad at fantasy sports. The energy you'll gain from the caffeine won't do you any good in life. It will just fuel more bad decisions. Everyone is laughing at you. Have a terrible morning.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Bittersweet chocolate. Toasty. Bold and full-bodied. French Roast (Dark) · Sourced from Brazil TASTES LIKE — Notes of regret, rock bottom, and a fully auto-drafted roster.
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
4/5 — SCORCHED EARTH
Final Standing
Last
Excuses Made
47
Excuses Believed
0
Trades Rejected
All Of Them
Will Blame The Schedule
Guaranteed
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
