Draft Day Dark Roast
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Event
You've been prepping since March. You have a draft board. You have a spreadsheet. You have a spreadsheet for your spreadsheet. This dark roast is for the commissioner energy in all of us — the one who sends 47 messages about the draft date and still picks second. Bold, relentless, and way too intense for a Tuesday morning.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich cocoa. Toasted nuts. Full-bodied. Medium-Dark Roast · Sourced from Brazil & Mexico TASTES LIKE — Notes of blind optimism, fresh spreadsheet ink, and a sleeper pick that never pans out.
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
2/5 — SIDE-EYE
Mock Drafts Completed
47
Spreadsheet Tabs
12
Draft Board Changes
Hourly
Confidence Level
Unearned
Sleeper Picks That Hit
Pending
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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