Congrats. Now Be Unbearable.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Flex
Take the victory lap. Post the screenshot. Change the group-chat photo. Just know the league started rooting against you before the trophy arrived. A smooth celebration roast for the champion committed to squeezing twelve months of attention from one good Sunday.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich praline sweetness. Smooth body. Perfectly balanced. Medium Roast · Sourced from Brazil, Colombia & Guatemala TASTES LIKE — A VICTORY LAP · DAILY SCREENSHOTS · ZERO HUMILITY SMACK METER — 3/5 · Personal Foul
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
3/5 — Personal Foul
Celebration Posts
Ongoing
Group Photo Changed
Immediately
Old Takes Reposted
Selective
League Patience
Expired
Repeat Expected
By You
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
