Delete The App.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
The playoffs are gone. The consolation bracket is insulting. Your healthiest decision is finally the obvious one. A bright light roast for the peaceful morning after you stop checking a team that stopped trying weeks ago.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Blackberry acidity. Caramel sweetness. Hints of plum and black tea. Light Roast · Sourced from Ethiopia, Guatemala & Brazil TASTES LIKE — LAST PLACE · AN UNINSTALLED APP · PEACE AT LAST SMACK METER — 5/5 · League-Ending
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
5/5 — League-Ending
Playoff Odds
Mercifully Zero
Push Alerts Muted
All
Roster Checked
Why
Screen Time Recovered
Significant
App Reinstalled
Next August
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
