Fuck Your Projection.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
The app loved you. The experts loved you. Your win probability glowed like destiny right up until your team touched the field. Dark chocolate and caramelized sugar for anyone learning that a projection is just confidence wearing a decimal point.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Bakers chocolate. Caramelized sugar. Deep, velvety body. Dark Roast · South American Blend TASTES LIKE — A 78% PROJECTION · FALSE CONFIDENCE · AN IMPOSSIBLE LOSS SMACK METER — 4/5 · Scorched Earth
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
4/5 — Scorched Earth
Pregame Confidence
Obnoxious
Projected Margin
+18
Actual Outcome
Humbling
Miracle Plays Allowed
Just Enough
Model Blamed
Immediately
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
