Nice Reach, Asshole.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
Your guy had a fifth-round ADP. You took him in the third because you had a feeling and access to absolutely no new information. Rich cocoa, toasted nuts, and the bitter aftertaste of hearing 'you probably could've waited' from the entire room.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich cocoa. Toasted nuts. Full-bodied. Medium-Dark Roast · Sourced from Brazil & Mexico TASTES LIKE — ROUND-THREE PANIC · A FIFTH-ROUND ADP · IMMEDIATE REGRET SMACK METER — 5/5 · League-Ending
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
5/5 — League-Ending
Rounds Reached
2 Too Soon
ADP Ignored
Confidently
Room Reactions
Audible
Value Preserved
None
Pick Defended
Aggressively
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
