Pay Your Fucking Dues.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Ritual
The draft date was six weeks ago. The payment link still works. Somehow eleven employed adults need a personal collections department. Rich cocoa and toasted nuts for the commissioner doing unpaid labor to fund a prize pool everyone plans to win.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich cocoa. Toasted nuts. Full-bodied. Medium-Dark Roast · Sourced from Brazil & Mexico TASTES LIKE — ELEVEN UNPAID DUES · SEVENTY REMINDERS · UNPAID LABOR SMACK METER — 5/5 · League-Ending
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
5/5 — League-Ending
Payment Reminders
70
Adults Chased
11
Prize Pool Funded
Almost
Excuses Received
Creative
Commissioner Salary
$0
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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