Season Over, Dumbass.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
The bracket moved on without you. The contenders stopped replying. Even the consolation ladder feels optimistic. A dark, toasty funeral roast for a fantasy season that died quietly and was immediately replaced by excuses.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Bittersweet chocolate. Toasty. Bold and full-bodied. French Roast (Dark) · Sourced from Brazil TASTES LIKE — A PLAYOFF ELIMINATION · MUTED NOTIFICATIONS · MAYBE NEXT YEAR SMACK METER — 5/5 · League-Ending
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
5/5 — League-Ending
Weeks Remaining
Too Many
Meaningful Games
0
Notifications Opened
None
Draft Prep Resumed
Already
Dignity Remaining
See You Next Year
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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