Start/Sit Your Ass Down.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
Six analysts, three friends, two coin flips, and one last-minute gut call. Naturally, you ignored the only answer that was right. Balanced medium roast for the weekly ritual of outsourcing a decision and owning none of the result.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich praline sweetness. Smooth body. Perfectly balanced. Medium Roast · Sourced from Brazil, Colombia & Guatemala TASTES LIKE — SIX DIFFERENT OPINIONS · THE WRONG CHOICE · A 1:03 P.M. MELTDOWN SMACK METER — 4/5 · Scorched Earth
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
4/5 — Scorched Earth
Opinions Collected
6
Correct Answers Ignored
1
Lineup Changed
12:59
Points Lost
Enough
Question Asked Again
Next Week
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
