The Lowballer
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
You offered a backup running back for a top-five wideout, and you were not joking. That's just your opening bid — always. Made for the manager who tests every trade partner's patience. Bold and unbothered, exactly like every offer you've ever sent.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Rich cocoa. Toasted nuts. Full-bodied. Medium-Dark Roast · Sourced from Brazil & Mexico TASTES LIKE — Insulting, Persistent, Zero Shame
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
3/5 — PERSONAL FOUL
Lowball Offers Sent
Constantly
Offers Accepted
Rarely
Trades Fleeced
A Few, Somehow
Negotiation Level
Shameless
Will Offer Again
Immediately
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
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