You Drafted Like Shit.
Whole-bean fantasy fuel, roasted to order and shipped with a side of trash talk.
$24.00
12 oz · whole bean or ground
Choose your grind
1
Free shipping over $40
Roasted to order
The Story
Shame
Six running backs, no plan, a defense before anyone needed one, and a kicker you could not stop talking about. This French roast is dark, blunt, and still somehow more balanced than the roster you assembled.
Coffee Profile
TASTING NOTES — Bittersweet chocolate. Toasty. Bold and full-bodied. French Roast (Dark) · Sourced from Brazil TASTES LIKE — SIX RUNNING BACKS · NO PLAN · A DEFENSE WAY TOO EARLY SMACK METER — 5/5 · League-Ending
Free Shipping
On all orders over $40. Because you\’ve already paid enough in waiver bids.
Championship Guarantee
We can\’t guarantee you\’ll win. But we guarantee this coffee won\’t be the reason you lose.
Nutrition Facts
Per Season · Values Not Guaranteed
Smack Meter
5/5 — League-Ending
Roster Balance
Illegal
Panic Picks
Back-To-Back
Starting Tight Ends
Maybe
Draft Board Consulted
Never
Season Outlook
Condolences
* Trash-talk content may exceed the recommended daily intake.
Keep the roster stocked
